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[queenofseers]

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This is Cassandra Igarashi. Leave a message.

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[darkov]

[his expression gets sadder. Bodhi...]

He keeps...getting caught up in trouble...when it comes to me.

[queenofseers]

It can't be that bad. Well- this was pretty bad, but I mean- it can't always be that. Right?

[ Oof, that came out wrong. Course correct!! ]

Uh, what I mean is, I don't think he blames you for it. It's not like you did this on purpose.

[darkov]

No, but...still.

[lots of unsaid if I wasn't there to start withs are tucked in there, but he doesn't give voice to them any further.

after an exhale:] I'll be more careful next time.

[queenofseers]

I know you will.

[ She really does. Martin's too paranoid of a child to be lenient on himself; he'll worry himself to death trying to make sure this doesn't happen again, at this rate. For her sake moreso than his own. (It should be for his own, she thinks.) ]

...Do you know why it happened?

[darkov]

[while rubbing at his shoulder, his eyes wince when he feels a sore spot.]

I might've...squeezed my wrist too tight. It must've made the bone go backward...

[queenofseers]

Hey, you don't have to touch it yet-

[ She reaches a hand up to stop him, but she thinks he gets the memo. ]

So- you know not to do that now, I guess? Not that it was your fault, like I said. Something that small shouldn't hurt you that bad. [ Darkovs: more fucked up the more she learns! ]

[darkov]

That's why we train a lot... [he hesitates.] I mean, most...most of the others are a lot better already, so it's not common. Except Ivan, but that's...I mean, I'm still...conjuring something bigger than me. I have to figure out how to make it...more manageable, still.

[queenofseers]

[ She huffs. ] Okay, then. I mean- what if we got someone to train you? Someone who has an idea of how your powers work? Could Andy or Rex help?

[ Cassandra, after all, isn’t a physical fighter. But she likes to solve things by making plans, and honestly, she suspects Martin likes things that way too. ]

...What does Ivan do anyway? Who’s he?

[darkov]

...One of my cousins. He, um... [he points to his shoulder, then down to his elbow.] He makes a bow...and then...sometimes tries to make arrows. But those don't really go well. He makes Adrian make them instead -- a, another cousin.

They're...training to be sharpshooters. Together, because of that. He even uses glasses.

[queenofseers]

...At least he’s not alone. Sounds like he’s not exactly the sharpest of people, though.

[ Well- wait. She relaxes a little, wondering if this is making Martin more or less comfortable. She can see either happening. It’s nice to have him talking, at least. ]

How old are they? Ivan and Adrian. I mean, compared to you- from what you know.

[darkov]

[he looks up, thinking. Gracia, him, Adam...]

Ummm...fourth...and...fourth and fifth-youngest. I'm second, Adam's third... [he slowly nods.] Fourth and fifth. [blink.] Wait, no--I'm second, Adam's third...Danielle's fourth, then Ivan, then Adrian. Sorry. Fifth and sixth youngest. So...so Adrian's right in the middle of all twelve.

[it's not so much about feeling better as it is being distracted: having to recall and recount his family up does a good job of it.]

[queenofseers]

That's a lot of you. Lord. Some of them must be older, right? Closer to my age.

[ She's thinking out loud. This isn't really doing anything for him, is it? She thinks of stopping herself, than remembers that keeping him talking for a bit might be a good idea, to see if anything changes. ]

Where's your sister? She must be older, right?

[darkov]

Yes, second-oldest. Bruce is oldest. He's going to get paired soon. I think Regina, too. [squint.] Maybe together...

[a beat.]

How old are you?

[queenofseers]

Wait, together? They do that?

[ She sounds a bit horrified, but it's mitigated by the fact that...she's not surprised. ]

About a decade older than you. I didn't think Regina was that old.

[darkov]

[he shrugs.]

We, we don't really keep track of our ages, but you already know that. It's just...she was already initiated before I could remember. And...hunting just a little after that. She might be closer to your age. Bruce, too.

[queenofseers]

That's a bit young to start...that must be when you're approved to go out and fight, right? When you get initiated.

[ At least in her head, that'd be the timeline, wouldn't it? Even if Regina's a bit younger than her. It doesn't sit right. ]

I mean, were you initiated?

[darkov]

I...

[he hesitates.]

I went through it. The initiation. But it...didn't go the way it's supposed to. I don't know why it went wrong, but...but it did. I failed a test that...no one else has before. [his eyes are trailing off to gaze at nothing. already, just thinking about it makes his body start to tense up.]

I still joined the hunt anyway. I wanted to...to prove I could still do it.

That didn't work out, either.

[queenofseers]

[ This explains a lot, doesn't it. Cassandra hasn't quite processed how important it is for Martin to admit this, yet, but she knows it's essential, and tells her so much of what she wanted to know about him. Even if it's something painful for him to admit. ]

Come on. [ She says it after a short pause. ] I don't know who's telling you that, but there's no way you're the only one who failed it. And...there's no way hunts haven't gone badly before. You're a kid, Martin. They shouldn't expect you to be perfect.

[darkov]

It's not about perfect. [he shakes his head a little, squeezing at his shoulder, as if just to force some of that pain in him as a reminder.] It's about...being capable. We all have to be. Otherwise, there's more death. More that others have to carry, in your place...

[he dips his head miserably.]

I couldn't even carry my own weight. If you'd have seen...you'd understand...

[queenofseers]

...Even if I'd seen it, I still wouldn't think you deserved it.

[ It takes her a moment to find the words, but it's true. A sick part of her wants to see it- to know what happened, in order to help him. But that's not possible now.

She tries to lighten her tone. ]

I'd probably be a pretty crappy Darkov, anyway. I'd spend too much time yelling at everybody.

[darkov]

[despite himself, Martin's mouth tugs. he peeks up through his bangs at her.]

Some...some of the others yell a lot, too. It wouldn't be weird.

[queenofseers]

[ She doesn’t like that tone. Martin... ]

Yeah? About what?

[darkov]

All kinds of things. It's...mostly Dani and Ivan, though. They argue a lot about this or that. He bets she can't do something, they fight, Gracia yells at them for being noisy...

[he shrugs, looking back down.]

It's...just normal stuff. For home.

[queenofseers]

...That's better than I thought it would be.

[ Honestly, she suspected he'd be getting scolded, the way he acts. She's a little bit less scrutinizing, now. ]

Do you ever miss it?

[darkov]

[he stays quiet for a beat, seemingly lost in thought. after that silence draws out enough, his head slowly nods once.

he's not sure if that's the right answer, whether it's good or bad.

quietly:] But I'd...rather not go back.