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Yes, second-oldest. Bruce is oldest. He's going to get paired soon. I think Regina, too. [squint.] Maybe together...

[a beat.]

How old are you?

Wait, together? They do that?

[ She sounds a bit horrified, but it's mitigated by the fact that...she's not surprised. ]

About a decade older than you. I didn't think Regina was that old.

[he shrugs.]

We, we don't really keep track of our ages, but you already know that. It's just...she was already initiated before I could remember. And...hunting just a little after that. She might be closer to your age. Bruce, too.

That's a bit young to start...that must be when you're approved to go out and fight, right? When you get initiated.

[ At least in her head, that'd be the timeline, wouldn't it? Even if Regina's a bit younger than her. It doesn't sit right. ]

I mean, were you initiated?

I...

[he hesitates.]

I went through it. The initiation. But it...didn't go the way it's supposed to. I don't know why it went wrong, but...but it did. I failed a test that...no one else has before. [his eyes are trailing off to gaze at nothing. already, just thinking about it makes his body start to tense up.]

I still joined the hunt anyway. I wanted to...to prove I could still do it.

That didn't work out, either.

[ This explains a lot, doesn't it. Cassandra hasn't quite processed how important it is for Martin to admit this, yet, but she knows it's essential, and tells her so much of what she wanted to know about him. Even if it's something painful for him to admit. ]

Come on. [ She says it after a short pause. ] I don't know who's telling you that, but there's no way you're the only one who failed it. And...there's no way hunts haven't gone badly before. You're a kid, Martin. They shouldn't expect you to be perfect.

It's not about perfect. [he shakes his head a little, squeezing at his shoulder, as if just to force some of that pain in him as a reminder.] It's about...being capable. We all have to be. Otherwise, there's more death. More that others have to carry, in your place...

[he dips his head miserably.]

I couldn't even carry my own weight. If you'd have seen...you'd understand...

...Even if I'd seen it, I still wouldn't think you deserved it.

[ It takes her a moment to find the words, but it's true. A sick part of her wants to see it- to know what happened, in order to help him. But that's not possible now.

She tries to lighten her tone. ]

I'd probably be a pretty crappy Darkov, anyway. I'd spend too much time yelling at everybody.

[despite himself, Martin's mouth tugs. he peeks up through his bangs at her.]

Some...some of the others yell a lot, too. It wouldn't be weird.

[ She doesn’t like that tone. Martin... ]

Yeah? About what?

All kinds of things. It's...mostly Dani and Ivan, though. They argue a lot about this or that. He bets she can't do something, they fight, Gracia yells at them for being noisy...

[he shrugs, looking back down.]

It's...just normal stuff. For home.

...That's better than I thought it would be.

[ Honestly, she suspected he'd be getting scolded, the way he acts. She's a little bit less scrutinizing, now. ]

Do you ever miss it?

[he stays quiet for a beat, seemingly lost in thought. after that silence draws out enough, his head slowly nods once.

he's not sure if that's the right answer, whether it's good or bad.

quietly:] But I'd...rather not go back.

[ This is the moment where you're supposed to hug the kid, right? Right. She gives him a little squeeze on his good shoulder instead. ]

...If it were up to me, you'd never have to.

[his expression softens a little.]

Or any of you. You, and Andy and Rex...

Yeah. I don't think any of us want to leave, either. At least...there should be a way back.

[ Part of her does want to return, at times, at least so she can figure out what's going on there. But she can't deny that basically abandoning what she has here would feel wrong.

In any case. She stands up. ] You should probably rest. Want me to leave you alone?

[of course not. but why would he say yes? she's already had more than her share of this mess of his. he exhales heavily through his nose, quiet for a beat longer.]

...When is Andy coming back?

I called her. I bet she'll be here soon.

[ She's Andy. She'd never leave Martin be for too long, if she can help it- especially now. ]

Want me to call her again?

[he does, and it shows in his expression for a beat before he turns his head away, drawing his legs back up on the bed and starting to shift position.]

It's fine. I'll just sleep.

[ Aw. Well, if he wants to be alone, he wants to be alone. She moves towards the door. ]

You'll know when she's here. And- I'm not leaving. Okay?

[ Sometimes, she thinks he needs that emphasized. ]

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