queenofseers | ic inbox (mask or menace)

Well, is it? I can't imagine you can just go and buy a keyboard in your language around here.

And sorry if it's hard for me to sleep right now. I think it's obvious there are extenuating circumstances.

its fine it was easy im a tech marvel are those circumstances puttin 10 litres of coffee in2 ur body?

[...]

u kno after hard battles we didnt always get a chance to wind down. sometimes ud lose your entire squad then have to immediately check in2 another one when i did get time to actually sit down after stuff like that the best thing 2 do was 2 avoid stimulants like engex or thinkin 2 hard about anythin even if i had a lot on my mind ur brain cant keep it up forever. sometimes it wld take ages but id still manage to shut down 4 the nite, assumin u didnt get called back out. that actually happened more often than not. ppl died cause of it. but what did that matter? we were cannon fodder anyway. it was our purpose to ignore how we felt instead of dealing with it. it feels like it wont stop but it will. it always does, at least for a couple hours. so mayb treat urself better than how my superiors treated me durin a literal world ending war?

[ God, she never knows what to do with Riptide. He acts like such a dolt half the time, and then in others he's so honest, willing to tell her about all the unbelievable and horrifying shit he's survived. A significant part of her is mad at being lectured at, but he's one of the few people she can't stay too upset at. ]

I get it. You've survived, I can too. You know you're basically a victim of a massive war crime, right? I'm not really sure our situations are completely compatible, here.

[ But she's grasping at straws. She knows what he's getting at. ]

doesn't hurt any less though

[he's also pretty sure as the one who's been through the objectively worse thing he's allowed to use it like that!!]

im not tryin 2 say how ur feelin is wrong bc god knows sometimes shouting it out or breaking stuff helps its just not gonna help with the stuff u have to do once ur done with the initial hurt

[ People keep telling her variations on that- that she's going to have things to do. And she knows that. But...

Well, if there's anyone she's okay with venting to, it's Riptide. ]

I'm trying to do that shit. I've been trying for days and I fucking can't. It's like my brain can't process anything. And I know the answer to why it's happening is "you're totally screwed up", but it doesn't mean I don't want it to just stop.

[he kind of hates seeing her say that about herself? he makes an effort to drop the shorthand.]

its a response to losing a lot of people in a short amount of time have u tried talking to someone? like a therapist? mayb they can help u sort out all the shit your brain is going through i can make u more ciphers if it'll help i got the basics of some other alien languages in me 👀

Riptide, going to any therapist would involve going through the gauntlet of explaining imPort shit and god shit and everything else about me. I don't even know if I have the energy for that yet.

[ She has finished this first cipher. Well... ]

Go ahead, if you like making them so much. At least that's something I can actually do.

literally the point of therapists?

[anyway that being said, he sends a couple in different languages over the next few hours. all of the ciphers are supportive notes for cass from him. eat shit!!!]

Edited (it was i who ate shit) 2018-10-12 13:42 (UTC)

[ She gets to work on those ciphers, genuinely somewhat intrigued. She never studied languages beyond what was required, but she's kind of curious as to how Riptide can access this so quickly. Cybertronian shit...?? ]

Yeah, but we'd need to use the whole first meeting just setting that up. I'm already fucking tired of explaining my life to people who aren't my therapist. I'd go to one appointment and have to sleep for a week.

[pre-prepared? or cybertronain shit? he'll never tell.]

i mean it involves u sleeping

Ha ha, yes, very funny. [ She really walked right into that one, didn't she. ]

Don't you not have to sleep or something like that? Why are you so worried about me? I get enough.

abt every 48 hours bc of the difference in the length of our days tho i can stretch it to about 70 if im clever with switchin forms but thats borin who wants to be awake that long depends on the type tho megatron only needed to sleep once a week

ps "i get enough"

Yeah, no. I don't want you interrogating me about my sleep schedule right now. If you want to make me less miserable, you're going to have to do something other than tell me I'm miserable, because I already fucking know that one.

So go ahead and tell me about this Megatron guy or the length of your days or whatever. Please? So this doesn't turn into you pulling off my roof to tell me to sleep or some other ridiculous shit.

ok

[despite everything, he still sort of prefers being told what to do? riptide always thinks if he strikes out on his own he'll mess it all up.]

our days are longer because the planet is bigger. i think that's just physics. megatron started off as a miner in tarn. he originally rose up against the oppressive senate but then because hes a bad guy it turned into a planet-wide war. he says he regrets that but i dont think i believe him. i wasnt made yet when he started the war but the battle i was deployed in was one of the big ones. hed almost taken over cybertron by the end of it. u wanna know somethin messed up? apparently when simanzi was over, so much energon had been spilt that it was rumoured the planet appeared purple from space anyway to cut 3 mil years short, he lost the war on earth and was brought to trial on cybertron for massive war crimes against like existence but he used a loop hole saying that the knights of cybertron r the only ones that can judge him, so he joined the lost light as the co-captain bc they were already lookin for the knites to help rebuild the planet hes weird like when he joined he started giving classes and lectures to teach the crew stuff :/ then some rly bad stuff happened that i dont wanna talk about

i think i miss him

Jesus fuck, Riptide, I wasn't completely serious there.

[ ...But also. As she tries to absorb all of this into her brain: ]

Don't miss war criminals. Alright? Seems like an easy thing to agree upon.

i wish it was that easy :/

I know. You get nostalgic for home and all that.

[ Hm. Should she send this? But she supposes if anyone will answer it, it's Riptide. ]

You're the only one from your world here left, right? How do you even handle that?

yeh sucks but what can u do just gotta keep on keepin on until i get ported bak home and see how that ends up

[ If he's seemingly going to keep taking this in stride, she's going to keep asking the tough questions, though there's a bit of a gap between her responses. She's still picking at the new ciphers, thinking them over. ]

Do you really want to go back? More than just out of being homesick. Because I never got the impression you would be going back to anything good.

[he keeps going, seemingly blasé.]

yes staying here 2 avoid the specific bad thing im gonna have to deal with would be irresponsible, selfish and overall stupid besides getaway definitely dies in the future so like how bad can it be?

[ Fucking Getaway. Honestly? She's just happy he never got the chance to hurt Riptide any worse than he already did. Riptide doesn't deserve that. ]

If you're so sure. I'm not going to underestimate that fucker's propensity for pulling bullshit.

[ After another moment: ] You didn't have to make all of these so cheesy. [ About the ciphers. This is what she thinks of comforting messages. ]

me neither, but i don't think he's the kind of person to admit defeat the way he did he did what he did to me out of spite, after all though... i don't know what he's going to do to the crew now that we escaped atomizer helped so he's probably dead honestly the worst case scenario is getaway rocking up to cyberutopia with no crew, 200 spines and i can't imagine that would end well for him. maybe that's how he died. that would be kind of funny.

[little does riptide know, the narrator says. that there's a fate waiting for the crew that's worse than death.]

i absolutely did do u know how many romcoms we watched in space? even that weird alien one

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text 1/2 right back at ya

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