[ All of this is still a little beyond Rex, but he listens dutifully anyway, just to make sense of it all. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that, despite having powers of her own, Cassandra's never held herself as a god, never held herself as anything more than a rather extraordinary human. Remembering that she means more as a symbol to others than as a person is always surreal in its own way. ]
Somehow I'm not surprised to hear you were originally a reporter.
[ He's probably more surprised than he should be to hear the word girlfriends. Cassandra has always been a reticent sort. To have not one, but two people manage to crawl underneath her skin is quite a feat. They must be extraordinary women. ]
It sounds like they're your partners in every sense of the word. That's something to be treasured, certainly. [ Absently, he wishes they were here. Maybe Cassandra would be happier that way. ] Are they angry about it?
Fuck, did I not mention that, either? [ Sometimes it's easy to forget people don't just automatically know things about her- even before she was a god, she'd end up in places where people had seen her face online, already knowing who she was, how she felt. This place is the same in some ways, and very different in others.
But it's Rex's question that seems to get to her more. She looks away, shifting uncomfortably. Despite the fact she shared space in her brain with the Norns, she's not sure what she would answer. And that's another reason why this makes her so deeply uncomfortable, and another reason why she's so full of doubt. ]
Are they angry about being gods? About not knowing shit? [ To some extent, she's talking to herself. ] It's...I don't know. We're strange. Nobody really knows how we're supposed to work, if we constitute one god, and there's three of us. It seemed like Ananke was after me, but it's not as if they didn't get powers too.
[ She grimaces. ] Nobody knows if they're supposed to die, either.
[ There is a long, pronounced pause. Rex is certain that he heard her correctly. He's hoping that he didn't hear her correctly because, as it so happens, he's surrounded by loss, dead men walking, and a tenuous future filled with all of the above. Cassandra is still a young woman by anyone's standards. To already be speaking of death...
He deliberately folds one of those odd cape-like things Cassandra's so fond of. He doesn't look at her. ]
[ For a moment she doesn't say anything. Of course she's told Rex about this, right? She hasn't skipped maybe the most important part about being a god? The thing that defines their very existence, really...?
But maybe she has. His tone doesn't sound quite right, and it makes her realize he's not going to like this answer.
Well. She feels like a real fuckwad. ]
...That's our entire deal. We're gods for two years and then we all die. Usually suspiciously and horribly.
Come on, you- [ Of course he didn't know. Hell. She wants to sit down, but it wouldn't feel right, so she just stands there, as if frozen in place. ] You get it. People don't just get to be the center of the universe forever. Or whatever bullshit metaphor you want to put on it.
[ Rex breathes in, but doesn't outwardly respond, not right away. He came here to help. To be helpful. He didn't come here for Cassandra to hash out something that must weigh on her, some interminable fate she's marching towards with fury in her heart, for Rex cannot imagine she's marching towards it in any other way. It feels like a punch to the gut.
It's not fair. Nothing in life is, but these days, he's feeling it more keenly than ever before. He doesn't know why that is. Perhaps it's just that his eyes have been opened to what the future holds for him. Perhaps it's that he's had a taste of something better and it's spoiled him, weakened him, made him more susceptible to the emotions creeping along his ribcage and along the sides of his throat, less hardy than he ought to be. But it isn't. Cassandra's a good person. She doesn't deserve this. None of them do.
He could say that he knows what she means when she says that people don't get to be the centre of the universe forever, but --
No, he does know what she means, doesn't he? He was raised believing the Jedi to be the centre of his universe, and they will fall. He was raised believing the Republic to be the centre of his existence, and it falls as well. Even the one thing he had chosen to believe as a constant - he had seen Andy's skull get bashed in, for God's sake - had fallen. And he can't figure out for the life of him why, when all that he knows to be good and constant in this world, he's left standing. That, too, has always been a part of his life; no matter how many battles he's ground through, he always seems to be the last man standing. In times of self-pity, that seems to be the greatest injustice of them all.
Why not? He wants to ask. Why can't things just remain the centre of the universe forever? Why can't there be just one constant, one guarantee that somehow, everything will make sense at the end of the story? It's a childish thought, one that doesn't suit a soldier such as himself, but he thinks it anyway.
He swallows, sets the cloak aside. He makes the conscious decision not to look at her; even he cannot hide the fact that this is a blow, and his sadness at her hypothetical death isn't hers to bear. ]
[ Cassandra's never been good at picking up social cues, but in a situation like this, she's become hyper-aware of them- trying to find the little things in Rex's behavior, hoping he doesn't think of her as a complete loss for this. What a thing to hide from your friend, huh? Even totally unintentionally? Even in this place, where one could say it matters less- not that it makes the dread go away.
And she tries to avoid it- it's become such an undercurrent of her life now she barely registers it, most of the time- but it's there. Knowing she's going to die. And soon, even if some months here feel like a million years. Even if this place is different.
She has to go back one day, after all. She sucks in a breath. ]
It was...nine months there. Six here. [ More than a year. It's harder to count in this world. Coming up closer than she'd really processed. ] So. Fifteen months.
[ She purses her lips close for a second, and then speaks again, quickly, needing to get it out. ] Look. If it happens here- I'll just come back. We'll have to find a way to deal with it, with all the shit that happens with it, but- it won't...it won't be the same.
[ She meant to say it to be reassuring. It's not in her tone, and likely won't work. ]
Will it still happen here? He wonders. He's certain Cassandra would have tried to prevent it, for the others if not for herself, but that doesn't mean that they shouldn't be putting the full force of their attention upon it. Rex grabs another item of clothing, methodically folding it, controlled.
He's always been very, very good at control. He's not sure what it says about this place that that sense of control has quickly been unraveling. This isn't the right place. This isn't the right time. ]
The way you spoke of it, your -- condition. I didn't know how short a time you've been the way you are. [ She had always made it seem like something she had coped with forever, an old annoyance, something she was well used to. Not a young woman suddenly thrust into something she didn't expect and didn't want, torn asunder for nothing. Then, quieter, almost muttered: ] You should have told me.
[ Cassandra isn't comfortable with how close he feels to her. Fine. But they're friends, aren't they? Allies, in some strange way? This isn't the sort of thing you keep to yourself, not when it's following you here, not when he could have been working these past six months on some sort of solution. He stiffens his jaw, the set of his shoulders rigid with unexpressed emotion. ]
Why didn't you -- did you just think we all knew? All this time? That we knew, and wouldn't be working with you for some sort of solution, asking you questions?
[ That almost offends him more than not being told in the first place. She knows him by now. How could she think that he'd know and simply cast it aside? ]
[ She crosses her arms in front of her chest, and tucks them in sort of protectively; she feels ashamed, now, a little sick. She hadn't realized how much this would upset him. How much he'd care. And she knew Rex cared about her, and she cares about him, but-
But she's bad at having friends. She's never had many, and she's rarely let them be close to her. It's still a weird feeling. And she still feels the need to defend herself, even though part of her knows this isn't an argument. ]
Look, I'm used to the entire fucking world knowing! I figured it must have come up with the other gods at some point, that it'd go around, or...
[ Or what? That she wouldn't have to think about it? That she wouldn't have to blame herself for not being able to find a way out, so distracted by all the other shit happening in this goddamn world? ]
It wasn't on purpose, okay? There's so much shit happening here, for all we know the fucking apocalypse is going to happen before I have to deal with this! We've got enough we have to take care of.
[ But that's just an excuse. She knows it is. And her voice is starting to waver, slightly, her grief becoming clear- she bites on the inside of her lip, not looking at him, trying to muffle it. ]
[ Rex sighs, frustrated. It's... all right. It is her fault, in a way, for not telling them, for making that assumption or, Rex suspects, simply spending time with people who don't know about her inevitable fate. It's equally as maddening that she comes from a place where the whole world knows that these young men and women are given a death sentence and the public has decided to simply stand by and let it happen. It's obscene. It's absurd. And, in Rex's experience, is absolutely what he's come to expect from people.
But in a way, it's not her fault. He hasn't told Cassandra many things himself. Things that won't apply to anyone here, things that won't catch up to him in the way Cassandra's will, but he hasn't even spoke of it to others from his own galaxy. It's too painful to speak of in a way his imminent death wouldn't be. But Cassandra's no soldier, no immortal; she's a civilian. Their relationship with death is different.
He tries to choose his words carefully. He always does. ]
We don't need to speak of it now. This isn't why I came. As you said - you've got enough on your plate. But there's never so much going on that your life isn't a priority.
[ It should be a priority. To her, if not to anyone else - but it's a priority to Rex too. He just can't understand why she would think it's not, that they'd somehow be so concerned about everything else that they'd stop caring. She may be uncomfortable with intimacy, platonic or otherwise. Fine. That's fine. But hell, she has to understand that they care whether she lives or dies. ]
[ She doesn't know how to respond to that, initially. Her life. For a second she doesn't even know what that means, and then she realizes it's strange that she can't visualize that, her life without this. She had goals at one point. A plan. And it has gone away so fast. ]
This...is my life, Rex. This shit we have to do. [ As she speaks, she thinks she knows how he'll protest, and she starts trying to fight the argument in advance. ] It's our life. Everyone here, they deserve to know what the fuck is going on. I'm not going to ruin our chances of figuring that out by not doing anything.
[ Something needs to have an answer. When she'd become a god, she'd been so sure all of it was worthless- she needed a point. The machine had given it to her. And now, here, she's got something else to study, something nobody else seems to be as interested in. ]
If there's no one else here trying to find a way to deal with Lachesis and Atropos and all the rest of it, I have to. I don't want to ignore the dying shit, it's-
[ She wants to ignore it. Forget about it for a little while. But she's not acknowledging that. ]
It's just that I don't want an entire city nuked again because none of us found the right tiny little detail or whatever.
Focusing on you doesn't mean not focusing on anything else. We can't be on all the time. None of us can, as much as we may try.
[ He tries. God knows he tries. But he's come to accept his limitations in the past months - or maybe it's that he's come to accept the way life ought to be rather than the way life is. ] We take time for what's important. Martin's soccer games, those dinners we have, when Andy and I -- [ His mouth forms a thin line. ] Well.
[ They have more time now, technically speaking. The both of them. What an awful way to put it. ]
I would never ask anyone to stray from their duty. But it's important too. That's all I'm saying.
[ She wants to say watch me. Because she feels useless if she's not working, not finding the answers she not only craves, but she knows people need. Rex wants her to calm down, but she's never truly calm, not really, even when she's sure she's the calmest person in the room. It's so hard to be. Being at peace- it's not right here.
But there's a tenderness in her chest, knowing what's important to him. She has to reassure Martin about things so often, but he never has to worry; Rex adores that kid. And as for Andy...she's not trying to bring him false hope, but. ]
Andy...should come back, Rex. People usually do. [ Usually. ]
I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so pissy about it. And- all this.
[ It is not a kindness to want Andy to come back. He does, of course, but it's not something he's keen on voicing aloud; he may not consider himself to be particularly superstitious, but it seems disloyal to do so. She has been alive for a very, very long time - and even after just twelve years of life, he's able to comprehend how torturous that must be. Will she come back? Perhaps. Should she? Really? Perhaps not.
He shakes his head, doesn't address it. ]
Considering the circumstances, you've earned being a little pissy. [ She had been upset when he'd arrived. The mitigating circumstances haven't disappeared - it's just that, for Rex, another unfortunate circumstance has been piled on top of that. Cassandra's been dealing with that for all this time. ]
It's all right. Let's just get this done. We'll sort it out another day.
[ He has a tendency to want to get things done immediately, but even Rex has his limits. They're on a time limit, but nothing will come of talking about it today. ]
[ She makes a small huff at him pointing but she's earned the right to be mad- yeah, she knows. ] What I mean is, I shouldn't be giving you shit when you just came to help. I'm not used to...people coming around without me having to deal with their shit, I guess.
[ She starts to put a few of the dishes away, following his suggestion even when she usually wouldn't. But this reminds her of another topic, one that worries her. ]
Rex, you...might not want to come around here too much. Honestly? I don't want Woden targeting you all again. He basically terrorized your entire house. If he's doing it to get at me, I don't want him just doing it all over again when he gets back.
[ Rex isn't going anywhere - or at least, he doesn't intend to, just as he doesn't intend to lay his baggage at Cassandra's door. He knows their motley little group has their fair share of issues, but the one thing he can say to recommend them is that they care. They care enough to try to take care of their own without burdening them, to help without any expectations of having their help returned. If Cassandra's been without that sort of thing for this long, it only makes it all the more important to have back-up on their side. Cassandra likes to mumble about how terrible Rex's life has been - something he staunchly disagrees with - but he's never suffered a lack of support. ]
Do you have any reason to believe that both times he came 'round, he was doing it specifically because of our relationship with you? Seems to me like he was doing it for the sake of it, your presence notwithstanding.
[ She looks away a bit. She doesn't want to blame the kid, but... ] When he first came to that house? It might just have been that he- or his doppelganger, whatever- had a grudge against Martin. And that's not even getting at the fact that Dio lives with you. They've- they've got a history.
[ An awful, awful one. She doesn't like to elaborate, and on top of that, she tends to hope Dio can bring up that story only to the people he wants to know. ]
But Woden's a fucking pervert, Rex, and he's always thought I was...I don't know, his ideal woman to fuck with, I guess? In all variations of that phrase. [ She sounds disgusted to say it. ] I can definitely believe he'd do something like that to mess with my head. He thinks it's the best thing in the goddamn world to see people he hates squirm.
Doppelganger or not, we have reason to believe that he'd go after Martin regardless - and with him, Andy. I'm not convinced our being here would significantly worsen things, but there's no need for us to come by.
[ Which is a simple way of saying that while he's not convinced of Cassandra's reasoning, he won't disobey her wishes for the hell of it. They don't need to come here when Cassandra is able to come to them instead. As long as she's not pushing them all away in the first place, it's workable.
Rex's vigilance won't change either way. As far as he's concerned, Woden is dangerous to everyone he holds dear, whether he's directly interfered in their lives or not. It's only a matter of time. ]
Will you be all right here? On your own? [ That's the more pressing thought at the moment. Rex may be inexperienced in types like Woden, but the idea of someone harassing Cassandra simply because of what she is is a distressing one, to say the least - not too unlike what he hears people say about Twi'leks, if he's got this right. ] You've mentioned his... proclivities before.
I'm not sure I want to speculate on if he has any particular reason for brainwashing Andy, besides Martin and I knowing her...
[ Particularly because, right now, she can tell Rex doesn't want to stay on the topic too much. ]
I'll be fine. Even if he comes after me, I'd rather it be just me than a bunch of people who just got unlucky enough to live with me. I barely knew the people I lived with, anyway- it's not like I was safer that way.
[ She still has lingering disgust in her voice, but it's faded. To some extent, she's defeated. She'd love to find a way to stop Woden for good- until then, though, she's just surviving. ]
My preference would be for you not to be in danger in the first place.
[ He glances around the apartment with renewed interest, eyes roving over the place, searching for what he knows to look for: blindspots, where to find cover, where one could reasonably find themselves trapped. ]
No, but I have divine powers? And I'd like to add that both of your suggestions are things I wouldn't put it beyond Woden to hack.
[ She's not going to roll her eyes at this or anything; after all, she knows Rex is just looking after her. But the general feeling is in her voice. ]
Seriously, Rex, I can take care of that shit. If you spend your entire time here puttering around like I'm fragile I'm genuinely going to lose my mind.
[ Andy's immortal. He's seen her take a blow to the head that would kill a lesser man immediately, has watched her be gored by some horrible wild animal, and she'd come out fine. One brush with Woden, and now she's dead.
He could say that. He doesn't. It doesn't seem worth it. It'll just make them both feel more like shit than they already do. ]
Others having powers hasn't prevented me from worrying before, and it's not going to prevent me from worrying me now. Here and at home. [ He worries about General Skywalker, for heaven's sake. He's lost count of the amount of times he's harangued the man about wearing some proper armour, the amount of times he's asked him to just keep his damn head down and practice some caution. He always rolled his eyes at him but, to his credit, usually complied with a roll of his eyes, fondness at the edges of his expression. All right, Rex, he'd always said, with the air of someone doing it because it would make him happy, not because he believed it necessary.
That had been good enough for Rex. ]
Do me a favour and humour me until the food gets here.
[ Okay, now she is going to roll her eyes. That doesn't sound like he isn't puttering, to her. ]
No wonder you're the one taking care of a kid. [ She mumbles it, but not quietly enough that she's trying to hide it. She's teasing him, kind of, in a roundabout way. ]
Fine, go ahead and scour my entire apartment for security flaws. As if at least one major organization isn't already tracking us, in our own blood. [ She waves her arm with the nanite tattoo, as if to accentuate her point. ] I'm sure we can squash all attempts at kidnapping in advance and then settle down to a wonderful dinner.
[ It's a bit mean. But there's affection in her tone, somewhere. ]
[ Rex gives Cassandra a look that means that he absolutely heard what she said and has simply deigned not to honour it with a proper response. When it comes to his men, it's the sort of look that has them scampering off to do their duty, tail between their legs. When it comes to those who have become close to him in this place, it's the sort of look that just makes them snort, much to Rex's everlasting chagrin. ]
Thank you, [ he says instead, primly, as though all she had said was yes, I will allow you to scour my apartment. ] Then that's exactly what I'll do.
It does bother her, sure; the acknowledgement of how vulnerable she really is. But she's grateful, too, that someone is willing to look out for her in this way. Not that she'd admit it. Or embrace it. Or anything of the sort.
(and then later they ate lo mein and tried not to have more emotions and it was a good night and nothing else bad would ever happen to them ever) ]
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Somehow I'm not surprised to hear you were originally a reporter.
[ He's probably more surprised than he should be to hear the word girlfriends. Cassandra has always been a reticent sort. To have not one, but two people manage to crawl underneath her skin is quite a feat. They must be extraordinary women. ]
It sounds like they're your partners in every sense of the word. That's something to be treasured, certainly. [ Absently, he wishes they were here. Maybe Cassandra would be happier that way. ] Are they angry about it?
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But it's Rex's question that seems to get to her more. She looks away, shifting uncomfortably. Despite the fact she shared space in her brain with the Norns, she's not sure what she would answer. And that's another reason why this makes her so deeply uncomfortable, and another reason why she's so full of doubt. ]
Are they angry about being gods? About not knowing shit? [ To some extent, she's talking to herself. ] It's...I don't know. We're strange. Nobody really knows how we're supposed to work, if we constitute one god, and there's three of us. It seemed like Ananke was after me, but it's not as if they didn't get powers too.
[ She grimaces. ] Nobody knows if they're supposed to die, either.
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[ There is a long, pronounced pause. Rex is certain that he heard her correctly. He's hoping that he didn't hear her correctly because, as it so happens, he's surrounded by loss, dead men walking, and a tenuous future filled with all of the above. Cassandra is still a young woman by anyone's standards. To already be speaking of death...
He deliberately folds one of those odd cape-like things Cassandra's so fond of. He doesn't look at her. ]
Supposed to die, Cassandra?
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But maybe she has. His tone doesn't sound quite right, and it makes her realize he's not going to like this answer.
Well. She feels like a real fuckwad. ]
...That's our entire deal. We're gods for two years and then we all die. Usually suspiciously and horribly.
Come on, you- [ Of course he didn't know. Hell. She wants to sit down, but it wouldn't feel right, so she just stands there, as if frozen in place. ] You get it. People don't just get to be the center of the universe forever. Or whatever bullshit metaphor you want to put on it.
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It's not fair. Nothing in life is, but these days, he's feeling it more keenly than ever before. He doesn't know why that is. Perhaps it's just that his eyes have been opened to what the future holds for him. Perhaps it's that he's had a taste of something better and it's spoiled him, weakened him, made him more susceptible to the emotions creeping along his ribcage and along the sides of his throat, less hardy than he ought to be. But it isn't. Cassandra's a good person. She doesn't deserve this. None of them do.
He could say that he knows what she means when she says that people don't get to be the centre of the universe forever, but --
No, he does know what she means, doesn't he? He was raised believing the Jedi to be the centre of his universe, and they will fall. He was raised believing the Republic to be the centre of his existence, and it falls as well. Even the one thing he had chosen to believe as a constant - he had seen Andy's skull get bashed in, for God's sake - had fallen. And he can't figure out for the life of him why, when all that he knows to be good and constant in this world, he's left standing. That, too, has always been a part of his life; no matter how many battles he's ground through, he always seems to be the last man standing. In times of self-pity, that seems to be the greatest injustice of them all.
Why not? He wants to ask. Why can't things just remain the centre of the universe forever? Why can't there be just one constant, one guarantee that somehow, everything will make sense at the end of the story? It's a childish thought, one that doesn't suit a soldier such as himself, but he thinks it anyway.
He swallows, sets the cloak aside. He makes the conscious decision not to look at her; even he cannot hide the fact that this is a blow, and his sadness at her hypothetical death isn't hers to bear. ]
...how long has it been?
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And she tries to avoid it- it's become such an undercurrent of her life now she barely registers it, most of the time- but it's there. Knowing she's going to die. And soon, even if some months here feel like a million years. Even if this place is different.
She has to go back one day, after all. She sucks in a breath. ]
It was...nine months there. Six here. [ More than a year. It's harder to count in this world. Coming up closer than she'd really processed. ] So. Fifteen months.
[ She purses her lips close for a second, and then speaks again, quickly, needing to get it out. ] Look. If it happens here- I'll just come back. We'll have to find a way to deal with it, with all the shit that happens with it, but- it won't...it won't be the same.
[ She meant to say it to be reassuring. It's not in her tone, and likely won't work. ]
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Will it still happen here? He wonders. He's certain Cassandra would have tried to prevent it, for the others if not for herself, but that doesn't mean that they shouldn't be putting the full force of their attention upon it. Rex grabs another item of clothing, methodically folding it, controlled.
He's always been very, very good at control. He's not sure what it says about this place that that sense of control has quickly been unraveling. This isn't the right place. This isn't the right time. ]
The way you spoke of it, your -- condition. I didn't know how short a time you've been the way you are. [ She had always made it seem like something she had coped with forever, an old annoyance, something she was well used to. Not a young woman suddenly thrust into something she didn't expect and didn't want, torn asunder for nothing. Then, quieter, almost muttered: ] You should have told me.
[ Cassandra isn't comfortable with how close he feels to her. Fine. But they're friends, aren't they? Allies, in some strange way? This isn't the sort of thing you keep to yourself, not when it's following you here, not when he could have been working these past six months on some sort of solution. He stiffens his jaw, the set of his shoulders rigid with unexpressed emotion. ]
Why didn't you -- did you just think we all knew? All this time? That we knew, and wouldn't be working with you for some sort of solution, asking you questions?
[ That almost offends him more than not being told in the first place. She knows him by now. How could she think that he'd know and simply cast it aside? ]
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But she's bad at having friends. She's never had many, and she's rarely let them be close to her. It's still a weird feeling. And she still feels the need to defend herself, even though part of her knows this isn't an argument. ]
Look, I'm used to the entire fucking world knowing! I figured it must have come up with the other gods at some point, that it'd go around, or...
[ Or what? That she wouldn't have to think about it? That she wouldn't have to blame herself for not being able to find a way out, so distracted by all the other shit happening in this goddamn world? ]
It wasn't on purpose, okay? There's so much shit happening here, for all we know the fucking apocalypse is going to happen before I have to deal with this! We've got enough we have to take care of.
[ But that's just an excuse. She knows it is. And her voice is starting to waver, slightly, her grief becoming clear- she bites on the inside of her lip, not looking at him, trying to muffle it. ]
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But in a way, it's not her fault. He hasn't told Cassandra many things himself. Things that won't apply to anyone here, things that won't catch up to him in the way Cassandra's will, but he hasn't even spoke of it to others from his own galaxy. It's too painful to speak of in a way his imminent death wouldn't be. But Cassandra's no soldier, no immortal; she's a civilian. Their relationship with death is different.
He tries to choose his words carefully. He always does. ]
We don't need to speak of it now. This isn't why I came. As you said - you've got enough on your plate. But there's never so much going on that your life isn't a priority.
[ It should be a priority. To her, if not to anyone else - but it's a priority to Rex too. He just can't understand why she would think it's not, that they'd somehow be so concerned about everything else that they'd stop caring. She may be uncomfortable with intimacy, platonic or otherwise. Fine. That's fine. But hell, she has to understand that they care whether she lives or dies. ]
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This...is my life, Rex. This shit we have to do. [ As she speaks, she thinks she knows how he'll protest, and she starts trying to fight the argument in advance. ] It's our life. Everyone here, they deserve to know what the fuck is going on. I'm not going to ruin our chances of figuring that out by not doing anything.
[ Something needs to have an answer. When she'd become a god, she'd been so sure all of it was worthless- she needed a point. The machine had given it to her. And now, here, she's got something else to study, something nobody else seems to be as interested in. ]
If there's no one else here trying to find a way to deal with Lachesis and Atropos and all the rest of it, I have to. I don't want to ignore the dying shit, it's-
[ She wants to ignore it. Forget about it for a little while. But she's not acknowledging that. ]
It's just that I don't want an entire city nuked again because none of us found the right tiny little detail or whatever.
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[ He tries. God knows he tries. But he's come to accept his limitations in the past months - or maybe it's that he's come to accept the way life ought to be rather than the way life is. ] We take time for what's important. Martin's soccer games, those dinners we have, when Andy and I -- [ His mouth forms a thin line. ] Well.
[ They have more time now, technically speaking. The both of them. What an awful way to put it. ]
I would never ask anyone to stray from their duty. But it's important too. That's all I'm saying.
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But there's a tenderness in her chest, knowing what's important to him. She has to reassure Martin about things so often, but he never has to worry; Rex adores that kid. And as for Andy...she's not trying to bring him false hope, but. ]
Andy...should come back, Rex. People usually do. [ Usually. ]
I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so pissy about it. And- all this.
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He shakes his head, doesn't address it. ]
Considering the circumstances, you've earned being a little pissy. [ She had been upset when he'd arrived. The mitigating circumstances haven't disappeared - it's just that, for Rex, another unfortunate circumstance has been piled on top of that. Cassandra's been dealing with that for all this time. ]
It's all right. Let's just get this done. We'll sort it out another day.
[ He has a tendency to want to get things done immediately, but even Rex has his limits. They're on a time limit, but nothing will come of talking about it today. ]
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[ She starts to put a few of the dishes away, following his suggestion even when she usually wouldn't. But this reminds her of another topic, one that worries her. ]
Rex, you...might not want to come around here too much. Honestly? I don't want Woden targeting you all again. He basically terrorized your entire house. If he's doing it to get at me, I don't want him just doing it all over again when he gets back.
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[ Rex isn't going anywhere - or at least, he doesn't intend to, just as he doesn't intend to lay his baggage at Cassandra's door. He knows their motley little group has their fair share of issues, but the one thing he can say to recommend them is that they care. They care enough to try to take care of their own without burdening them, to help without any expectations of having their help returned. If Cassandra's been without that sort of thing for this long, it only makes it all the more important to have back-up on their side. Cassandra likes to mumble about how terrible Rex's life has been - something he staunchly disagrees with - but he's never suffered a lack of support. ]
Do you have any reason to believe that both times he came 'round, he was doing it specifically because of our relationship with you? Seems to me like he was doing it for the sake of it, your presence notwithstanding.
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[ An awful, awful one. She doesn't like to elaborate, and on top of that, she tends to hope Dio can bring up that story only to the people he wants to know. ]
But Woden's a fucking pervert, Rex, and he's always thought I was...I don't know, his ideal woman to fuck with, I guess? In all variations of that phrase. [ She sounds disgusted to say it. ] I can definitely believe he'd do something like that to mess with my head. He thinks it's the best thing in the goddamn world to see people he hates squirm.
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[ Which is a simple way of saying that while he's not convinced of Cassandra's reasoning, he won't disobey her wishes for the hell of it. They don't need to come here when Cassandra is able to come to them instead. As long as she's not pushing them all away in the first place, it's workable.
Rex's vigilance won't change either way. As far as he's concerned, Woden is dangerous to everyone he holds dear, whether he's directly interfered in their lives or not. It's only a matter of time. ]
Will you be all right here? On your own? [ That's the more pressing thought at the moment. Rex may be inexperienced in types like Woden, but the idea of someone harassing Cassandra simply because of what she is is a distressing one, to say the least - not too unlike what he hears people say about Twi'leks, if he's got this right. ] You've mentioned his... proclivities before.
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[ Particularly because, right now, she can tell Rex doesn't want to stay on the topic too much. ]
I'll be fine. Even if he comes after me, I'd rather it be just me than a bunch of people who just got unlucky enough to live with me. I barely knew the people I lived with, anyway- it's not like I was safer that way.
[ She still has lingering disgust in her voice, but it's faded. To some extent, she's defeated. She'd love to find a way to stop Woden for good- until then, though, she's just surviving. ]
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[ He glances around the apartment with renewed interest, eyes roving over the place, searching for what he knows to look for: blindspots, where to find cover, where one could reasonably find themselves trapped. ]
Do you have an alarm system? Cameras?
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[ She's not going to roll her eyes at this or anything; after all, she knows Rex is just looking after her. But the general feeling is in her voice. ]
Seriously, Rex, I can take care of that shit. If you spend your entire time here puttering around like I'm fragile I'm genuinely going to lose my mind.
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[ Andy's immortal. He's seen her take a blow to the head that would kill a lesser man immediately, has watched her be gored by some horrible wild animal, and she'd come out fine. One brush with Woden, and now she's dead.
He could say that. He doesn't. It doesn't seem worth it. It'll just make them both feel more like shit than they already do. ]
Others having powers hasn't prevented me from worrying before, and it's not going to prevent me from worrying me now. Here and at home. [ He worries about General Skywalker, for heaven's sake. He's lost count of the amount of times he's harangued the man about wearing some proper armour, the amount of times he's asked him to just keep his damn head down and practice some caution. He always rolled his eyes at him but, to his credit, usually complied with a roll of his eyes, fondness at the edges of his expression. All right, Rex, he'd always said, with the air of someone doing it because it would make him happy, not because he believed it necessary.
That had been good enough for Rex. ]
Do me a favour and humour me until the food gets here.
[ Surely she can manage that much. ]
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No wonder you're the one taking care of a kid. [ She mumbles it, but not quietly enough that she's trying to hide it. She's teasing him, kind of, in a roundabout way. ]
Fine, go ahead and scour my entire apartment for security flaws. As if at least one major organization isn't already tracking us, in our own blood. [ She waves her arm with the nanite tattoo, as if to accentuate her point. ] I'm sure we can squash all attempts at kidnapping in advance and then settle down to a wonderful dinner.
[ It's a bit mean. But there's affection in her tone, somewhere. ]
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Thank you, [ he says instead, primly, as though all she had said was yes, I will allow you to scour my apartment. ] Then that's exactly what I'll do.
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It does bother her, sure; the acknowledgement of how vulnerable she really is. But she's grateful, too, that someone is willing to look out for her in this way. Not that she'd admit it. Or embrace it. Or anything of the sort.
(and then later they ate lo mein and tried not to have more emotions and it was a good night and nothing else bad would ever happen to them ever) ]