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[queenofseers]

(source)

This is Cassandra Igarashi. Leave a message.

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text a couple days after she's back

[knaval]

i give u juice right from my soul and u dont even call when u come back from the dead?
i see how it is

[queenofseers]

[ She’s been avoiding Riptide, really. Andy she just pushed over, in the end. But Riptide-

She doesn’t even know what she did to Riptide. ]

I didn’t think you wanted to hear it. I’m so fucking sorry, Riptide.

[ A minute later: ]

Please tell me you’re okay? At least?

[knaval]

im fine or i wouldnt be able to text u
i mean i gess i cld w my brain but
no im fine

do u really think i care so little about u that u temp blindin me affects how i feel about u in anyway whatsoever

[queenofseers]

[ The response takes a minute, if only because Cassandra is now temporarily blinded. Something in her eye! She'll never tell! ]

It looked a lot worse than just that. Are you seriously okay? Did Knock Out help you or what?

[knaval]

yea
believe me i've had worse
it's fine cass really
can i see you?

[queenofseers]

[ Is she even ready to see him? She doesn't feel that she is.

But he's the one asking her. ]

Yeah. Okay. Where are we going?

[knaval]

ummm
i'll come 2 u
u home?

[queenofseers]

Yeah.

[ She's not prepared for this. But she hasn't been prepared for anything. ]

Try not to freak anybody out? Rex and Martin are stressed enough right now.

[knaval]

they've both seen my natural form but ill just come in my flesh prison its fine

[AND HE DOES: just gets a cab and slaps himself a few times to make sure he won't freak out when he inevitably feels a very strong emotion on seeing a friend that actually didn'tstay dead. he has no idea how that sort of feeling would work in this body! he hates this flesh prison!

anyway, when cass opens the door to him, he looks as he normally does. ridiculously tall, blue hair styled in a mohawk. there doesn't seem to be any damage to his eyes at all-- like what happened didn't. cybertronians are nothing if not sturdy and hard to kill.]

[queenofseers]

[ Normally she'd have some witty retort, but she's too tired. She tells herself she'll be happy to see him, but in a way, she's not sure.

As if Riptide would be angry with her, she tells herself; he's clearly not. And yet she can't stop herself from thinking that way.

When she opens the door, of course, she looks to his face first- and tries to tell herself it wouldn't be too damaged if he was in his actual form. She takes a deep breath. ]

God, I. [ After a pause- ] Hey. [ Her voice sounds smaller, more vulnerable than she'd wanted it to be. Fuck. ]

[knaval]

Hey.

[uncharacteristically, he pulls her into a hug. it doesn't last long, but it has the same amount of feeling behind it that riptide had shown when he gave her some of his innermost.

when he lets go, he just shoves his hands into his pockets and saunters past into the house like nothing had happened.]

You know, Getaway friend broke up with me via shooting me in the head and telling me I'm worthless. You saw that. [he says, looking over his shoulder.] Your own stuff doesn't have anything on that crap. We're cool.

[queenofseers]

[ By this point, Cassandra knows Riptide doesn't really do hugs, and he catches her off guard when he gives her one. She doesn't even get the chance to respond, really, before he lets go and walks in.

The others had responded similarly- Rex and Martin barely recognizing what she'd done, Andy trying to do the same. She's still in awe that Riptide does it, too. Of course he wouldn't care; she knows who he is by now. And yet-

She did hurt him. She did hurt him very, very badly- at least that's what it seemed like. It's more surreal now than it was then, when she was out of her own mind, not thinking as herself- that he could just be alright. ]

I...I know. I know I'm not Getaway. But was there seriously nothing wrong after that? Riptide, just-

[ This is how she's always been. She can't not know. ] Just tell me the truth.

[knaval]

I am telling the truth.

[when he looks back at her, his expression is far more befitting someone who's lived as long as he has-- who's been through as much shit as he has. he almost looks his age, for once.]

It was awful and it hurt, but it wasn't you and I knew it was coming. You're back now. My only regret is not getting you myself and letting it go on longer than it had to.

[kind of cold, but... he means it, even if he doesn't realise what saying something like that really means.]

[queenofseers]

[ It's a side of Riptide she always knew existed, but one she's encountered rarely. In some ways, that's the response she expected, perhaps wanted- for him to be serious with her.

She nods, slowly, looking away. Maybe nothing can satisfy her. ]

...You shouldn't have felt like you had to do it. [ A pause. ] Rex shouldn't have had to either.

[knaval]

No, of course not. Neither should have Rex. That's just how it went. Not everything is sunshine and rainbows all the time. Sometimes your friends go nuts and die horribly.

[he shrugs a shoulder, then looks back at her with a smirk.]

If this happens again, at least pick someone to kill that I can actually argue against? I mean, I knew you weren't acting right but it was pretty hard not to just go with you and eat popcorn while Woden died.

[queenofseers]

[ He's not the first one to say something like that, but in any case Cassandra still sits down with a huff, wishing Riptide wouldn't be so casual.

Yes, it was Woden. But it was still a murder. ]

I was so fucking mad at him. And I think he's fucked most of the time, but it was- I didn't know I could feel that way. I didn't know it was possible. Is that how people that horrible act all the time?

[ She puts her face in her hands. It feels as if she was someone else, for a few days.

She was Urdr. She thought she was. ]

[knaval]

Probably. Pure hatred like that is... dangerous.

[he knows he's felt it. he had to, to keep himself alive the way he did.]

...What about his 2 years?

[queenofseers]

What? Riptide, you know he's not a real god. The actual one was his son. Fuck, did you know I barely figured that out here? And back in my world I was literally two minutes away from knowing. Christ.

[ ...Although. ]

I mean, he has powers here, but do they even count for that? How long has he been here? Does it reset every time he gets murdered? [ Another pause. ]

And- I should I even care at this point? He's actually dead back in my world. That's- that's actually good news. I should have started with that. Woden's dead.

[knaval]

Oh. Did I know that?

[had they talked about that before and it slipped his mind? embarrassing, but not surprising! he sure is dumb!]

Gross. [he cocks his head.] Good news though. Down in Hell with Getaway, huh?

[queenofseers]

Oh, no, that's brand new. Not sure how exactly it happened, but I have a feeling it was fucking gross.

[ How bloody the Valkyries were, and knowing Minerva could likely control them... ]

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Wish his son didn't have to find out about it the way he did- god, I really fucked that one up. [ After another pause: ] Woden has a son? Also? He was the actual one with powers, and he's somehow actually decent.

[knaval]

[riptide-- riptide just shudders in response to that. clearly it's a lot even for him to consider.]

Yeah, that's... whoof. Didn't anyone learn not to trust you with bad news? No offence. [he says, though it's fond.] That's too bad. That he's not here and Woden is.

[queenofseers]

Oh, my life's entirely bad news, Riptide. I've been locked up for months and I was acting out a giant fucking lie. Literally everything was a helping of bullshit! All of it!

[ She huffs- she thinks she knows better than to get worked up, but she's definitely getting worked up. ]

Yeah. Yeah, Jon should be here. He deserves so much better than he got. He didn't have a body for like a year and a half? It's a long story.

[knaval]

Yeah, I felt that way when I realised I'd survived my first battle. It's like-- now what?

[he doesn't seem bothered by her temper, at any rate.]

Wow. Figures people that can't be here aren't, right? I can think of a few people off hand. What happened with him after Woden popped off?

[queenofseers]

That...that sounds like what happened to you, yeah.

[ She didn't realize how much Riptide would relate. But he could, couldn't he? Even if the situations were radically different, he always seemed like he'd be pushed along by the violent whims and tides of the war around him, existing for battle and then not knowing what to do. ]

He stopped being a god. Like all the rest of us. [ Which means she has to explain that, too. Fuck fuck fuck. ] Hey, what to hear about how I've been a dipshit for the last couple years, Riptide? It's riveting, I'm sure.

[knaval]

[dryly enough that he could've only have picked it up from andy:] How could I say no, with you so excited to share?