Cassandra "scoffs with compassion" Igarashi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
queenofseers) wrote2018-02-02 10:02 am
queenofseers) wrote2018-02-02 10:02 am
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This is Cassandra Igarashi. Leave a message.
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This is Cassandra Igarashi. Leave a message.
[he looks up, thinking. Gracia, him, Adam...]
Ummm...fourth...and...fourth and fifth-youngest. I'm second, Adam's third... [he slowly nods.] Fourth and fifth. [blink.] Wait, no--I'm second, Adam's third...Danielle's fourth, then Ivan, then Adrian. Sorry. Fifth and sixth youngest. So...so Adrian's right in the middle of all twelve.
[it's not so much about feeling better as it is being distracted: having to recall and recount his family up does a good job of it.]
Ummm...fourth...and...fourth and fifth-youngest. I'm second, Adam's third... [he slowly nods.] Fourth and fifth. [blink.] Wait, no--I'm second, Adam's third...Danielle's fourth, then Ivan, then Adrian. Sorry. Fifth and sixth youngest. So...so Adrian's right in the middle of all twelve.
[it's not so much about feeling better as it is being distracted: having to recall and recount his family up does a good job of it.]
Edited 2019-04-23 22:17 (UTC)
Do you find you do not get to be who you want to be here?
Ugh. Something to look forward to. I may have to study my veil more.
What, can you not be separated? That seems like a flaw in this system. Clearly I know there are just as many shitty Cybertronians as there are humans.
[ Judgmental, but true! But then Cassandra notes his pause, and then...realizes he's explained it well. So. ]
Uh- besides that, no. [ A pause. ] Thank you. Again. I know I look like a fucking mess right now, but I know this seems important to you. So if it is...it means a lot.
[ Judgmental, but true! But then Cassandra notes his pause, and then...realizes he's explained it well. So. ]
Uh- besides that, no. [ A pause. ] Thank you. Again. I know I look like a fucking mess right now, but I know this seems important to you. So if it is...it means a lot.
That's a lot of you. Lord. Some of them must be older, right? Closer to my age.
[ She's thinking out loud. This isn't really doing anything for him, is it? She thinks of stopping herself, than remembers that keeping him talking for a bit might be a good idea, to see if anything changes. ]
Where's your sister? She must be older, right?
[ She's thinking out loud. This isn't really doing anything for him, is it? She thinks of stopping herself, than remembers that keeping him talking for a bit might be a good idea, to see if anything changes. ]
Where's your sister? She must be older, right?
It's not that, I think. I know who I am. But I'd love to have absolutely zero people wondering why the hell I'm buying vegetables at the grocery store or what the fuck ever.
What, do you ever feel that way?
What, do you ever feel that way?
Yes. It creates a field that convinces minds and mechanical sensors to ignore you.
We can, but it's rare. You wouldn't do it unless you really knew the person. Like... thousands of years of knowing them.
[he shrugs-- riptide might, deep down, believe in love. no-one must know.]
It is. I hope it's not too weird... um, like I said, you're definitely the first organic ever to get one of these...
[he shrugs-- riptide might, deep down, believe in love. no-one must know.]
It is. I hope it's not too weird... um, like I said, you're definitely the first organic ever to get one of these...
Wait, together? They do that?
[ She sounds a bit horrified, but it's mitigated by the fact that...she's not surprised. ]
About a decade older than you. I didn't think Regina was that old.
[ She sounds a bit horrified, but it's mitigated by the fact that...she's not surprised. ]
About a decade older than you. I didn't think Regina was that old.
Only for yourself, or others? Just saying, that'd be quite useful for all of us divining Atropos.
I can extend it, but I do need more practice at that. Maybe I can get some people willing to help me practice sneaking around.
That's a bit young to start...that must be when you're approved to go out and fight, right? When you get initiated.
[ At least in her head, that'd be the timeline, wouldn't it? Even if Regina's a bit younger than her. It doesn't sit right. ]
I mean, were you initiated?
[ At least in her head, that'd be the timeline, wouldn't it? Even if Regina's a bit younger than her. It doesn't sit right. ]
I mean, were you initiated?
I'm sure somebody you met at that gathering would be willing to do it. It sounds like it could help, if nothing else.
I...
[he hesitates.]
I went through it. The initiation. But it...didn't go the way it's supposed to. I don't know why it went wrong, but...but it did. I failed a test that...no one else has before. [his eyes are trailing off to gaze at nothing. already, just thinking about it makes his body start to tense up.]
I still joined the hunt anyway. I wanted to...to prove I could still do it.
That didn't work out, either.
[he hesitates.]
I went through it. The initiation. But it...didn't go the way it's supposed to. I don't know why it went wrong, but...but it did. I failed a test that...no one else has before. [his eyes are trailing off to gaze at nothing. already, just thinking about it makes his body start to tense up.]
I still joined the hunt anyway. I wanted to...to prove I could still do it.
That didn't work out, either.
[ This explains a lot, doesn't it. Cassandra hasn't quite processed how important it is for Martin to admit this, yet, but she knows it's essential, and tells her so much of what she wanted to know about him. Even if it's something painful for him to admit. ]
Come on. [ She says it after a short pause. ] I don't know who's telling you that, but there's no way you're the only one who failed it. And...there's no way hunts haven't gone badly before. You're a kid, Martin. They shouldn't expect you to be perfect.
Come on. [ She says it after a short pause. ] I don't know who's telling you that, but there's no way you're the only one who failed it. And...there's no way hunts haven't gone badly before. You're a kid, Martin. They shouldn't expect you to be perfect.
It's not about perfect. [he shakes his head a little, squeezing at his shoulder, as if just to force some of that pain in him as a reminder.] It's about...being capable. We all have to be. Otherwise, there's more death. More that others have to carry, in your place...
[he dips his head miserably.]
I couldn't even carry my own weight. If you'd have seen...you'd understand...
[he dips his head miserably.]
I couldn't even carry my own weight. If you'd have seen...you'd understand...
No, not at all. At least not anymore.
I can even be who I want back home without consequence.
I miss my father all the time, but... I am happy that I was able to break free before it was too late.
I can even be who I want back home without consequence.
I miss my father all the time, but... I am happy that I was able to break free before it was too late.
...Even if I'd seen it, I still wouldn't think you deserved it.
[ It takes her a moment to find the words, but it's true. A sick part of her wants to see it- to know what happened, in order to help him. But that's not possible now.
She tries to lighten her tone. ]
I'd probably be a pretty crappy Darkov, anyway. I'd spend too much time yelling at everybody.
[ It takes her a moment to find the words, but it's true. A sick part of her wants to see it- to know what happened, in order to help him. But that's not possible now.
She tries to lighten her tone. ]
I'd probably be a pretty crappy Darkov, anyway. I'd spend too much time yelling at everybody.
[ After a longer moment than usual: ]
You're really lucky, Haru. But I'm sure you know that.
You're really lucky, Haru. But I'm sure you know that.
[ She doesn’t like that tone. Martin... ]
Yeah? About what?
Yeah? About what?
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